My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
