I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
