i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
