Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
