and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
