I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
