Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
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