Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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