I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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