i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Randomize
