I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
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