plz talk dirty to me
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
