In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
