We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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