then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
