I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
