just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
