we have officially lost it.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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