Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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