VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I have feelings that need drinking.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
