I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
