erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
How external is "for external use only"?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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