I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
