And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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