1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
