No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
