i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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