i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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