Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
