I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Randomize
