I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize