I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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