He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
