honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Sext me about skeletons
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
