I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
