I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
