I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
