I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize