but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Randomize
