I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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