Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
