He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
