Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Randomize
