About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
