i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
