I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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