Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
