She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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