Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
The beer is more important than you right now.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize