Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
