Have you finally orgasmed yet?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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