I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
it hurts more in the daytime
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
