addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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