I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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