Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
