just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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