somebody snuck up and got me drunk
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize