my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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