no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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