There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
