It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
