Apparently you make a good broom.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
