question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
