whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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